Over the past year, I have seen suffering that does not compare to anything I've experienced in the past. Every day, as an inpatient psychiatric therapist, I see people in the deepest places of despair and hopelessness. I had a patient say recently, "Why shouldn't I just die? I have nothing to live for, and no hope that anything will get better for me." When he said this, I just stopped and realized I was suddenly not breathing for a moment. It was like a wave of darkness had washed over me.
Unfortunately, sometimes, that wave of darkness goes home with me. I find myself thinking about hopelessness and I even begin to feel hopeless.
I ask myself that question, "Why would a person want to live without the promise of HOPE?"
Without hope, we are already DEAD.
What do we hope for? Perhaps, a better life, better relationships, more financial security...
For those I work with, they struggle every day to find something to hope for...
During group sessions, I often give patients homework to find ONE thing they love about themselves, or ONE thing they have be hopeful about in the future. I ask patients to share responses, and often, nobody has the answers.
This past year has been one the toughest seasons in my life. I have struggled to remain hopeful, even though I have the greatest hope of all, through Jesus. When I am at my absolute lowest points and I feel the darkness overwhelming me, I feel His presence comforting me. I know that He really will never leave me nor forsake (abandon) me. No matter what darkness I traverse through in life, He will be there in the darkness with me, shining a light of hope.
Before I knew Jesus, I also lacked hope. I found myself in the deepest place of hopeless despair, mourning and self-loathing. He gave me hope when I had none.
I pray every day for the patients and staff at the hospital. Sometimes, I see God intervene during the day and it brings me hope...but even when I can't see Him working, I always know He is there with me. I have moments when His presence is very clearly discerned. I feel His everlasting love.
I have been through a lot of darkness in my life, some of which I solely created. I have made poor decisions in my life that resulted in negative consequences and caused me to become hopeless. I have been depressed, anxious, fearful, angry, even hateful at times. All of this created a deep pit of hopelessness.
Many times, we must live with the consequences of our negative behaviors for many years, even after redemption has occurred and restitution has been made. Decisions change lives, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse.
Fortunately, or unfortunately, life moves on...
It's all about finding peace in this life...finding hope that does not disappoint...and having something or someone to bring love, comfort and joy to our lives.
For me, that is Jesus and the presence of God in my life. It's not something on the pages of a historical novel, it's a presence that goes with me everywhere, in everything that I do. In the deepest place of having a broken heart, God is near to me. A broken heart and a contrite spirit He will not despise (Psalm 51:17). He draws near to the brokenhearted and those crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18).
I have felt the pain of a broken heart...more than once in my life. When I sit before others who are brokenhearted and crushed in spirit, I mourn with them. I realize that when they speak of being hopeless, that is their current reality and existence. I realize that without supernatural intervention, many of them will die of a broken heart. I believe God uses those in their lives to bring them hope. He works through these vessels to bring hope to the hopeless, to encourage them never to give up on finding hope again.
Unfortunately, sometimes, that wave of darkness goes home with me. I find myself thinking about hopelessness and I even begin to feel hopeless.
I ask myself that question, "Why would a person want to live without the promise of HOPE?"
Without hope, we are already DEAD.
What do we hope for? Perhaps, a better life, better relationships, more financial security...
For those I work with, they struggle every day to find something to hope for...
During group sessions, I often give patients homework to find ONE thing they love about themselves, or ONE thing they have be hopeful about in the future. I ask patients to share responses, and often, nobody has the answers.
This past year has been one the toughest seasons in my life. I have struggled to remain hopeful, even though I have the greatest hope of all, through Jesus. When I am at my absolute lowest points and I feel the darkness overwhelming me, I feel His presence comforting me. I know that He really will never leave me nor forsake (abandon) me. No matter what darkness I traverse through in life, He will be there in the darkness with me, shining a light of hope.
Before I knew Jesus, I also lacked hope. I found myself in the deepest place of hopeless despair, mourning and self-loathing. He gave me hope when I had none.
I pray every day for the patients and staff at the hospital. Sometimes, I see God intervene during the day and it brings me hope...but even when I can't see Him working, I always know He is there with me. I have moments when His presence is very clearly discerned. I feel His everlasting love.
I have been through a lot of darkness in my life, some of which I solely created. I have made poor decisions in my life that resulted in negative consequences and caused me to become hopeless. I have been depressed, anxious, fearful, angry, even hateful at times. All of this created a deep pit of hopelessness.
Many times, we must live with the consequences of our negative behaviors for many years, even after redemption has occurred and restitution has been made. Decisions change lives, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse.
Fortunately, or unfortunately, life moves on...
It's all about finding peace in this life...finding hope that does not disappoint...and having something or someone to bring love, comfort and joy to our lives.
For me, that is Jesus and the presence of God in my life. It's not something on the pages of a historical novel, it's a presence that goes with me everywhere, in everything that I do. In the deepest place of having a broken heart, God is near to me. A broken heart and a contrite spirit He will not despise (Psalm 51:17). He draws near to the brokenhearted and those crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18).
I have felt the pain of a broken heart...more than once in my life. When I sit before others who are brokenhearted and crushed in spirit, I mourn with them. I realize that when they speak of being hopeless, that is their current reality and existence. I realize that without supernatural intervention, many of them will die of a broken heart. I believe God uses those in their lives to bring them hope. He works through these vessels to bring hope to the hopeless, to encourage them never to give up on finding hope again.
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